Fuck it All

okay so this is how the shit went down: I had a girlfriend, said girlfriend went to college. Said girlfriend was there for two months. Said girlfriend seemed to talk to me less and less. Me? I got pissed. I was constantly bitching about it to my FRIEND Ilia. Yeah, she's just a friend. You wanna know why? Because people can, in fact, just be friends. So, I would message her, she would message me. Except for the first month she was away, I actually tried to make conversation, ask her how school was and all that shit. The problem was, she would give me small replies and the conversations would therefore be boring. So I stopped starting them. If she wanted to talk to me, she could message me. I never ignored her like she claims, I just stopped trying because it was just pissing me off. Then the girlfriend came back after two long months of not seeing and barely speaking to her. I'm thinking "Yes! I can finally see her!" but in all reality no. Nada. Nothing. Shit. So by now I've just lost all hope in this mess. Not getting to see her half the damn relationship. It didn't seem like a relationship anymore. Yeah I tried to talk to her about all this but I didn't wanna seem like an asshole because it wasn't her fault she had to go all the way to Wichita. But no I find out AFTER the fact that she felt almost exactly the same way as I did. She's gonna bitch about how I never told her about how i felt but then she goes all hypocritical because honey, you didn't tell me either. So either do that shit when it's needed or shut the fuck up. So yeah, I said some hurtful things. I don't mean them. I say shit when I'm mad. I don't think before I act. It's just not me. I'm actually completely different from the last time you saw me. You would probably hate me now. But that's okay. You don't have to deal with anything about me anymore because I've noticed something about you: When you have a problem, you just shove it all aside. Don't deal with it. Just fuck it and forget it. So yeah I look like a big bitch right now. I don't really care. You've hit a sore spot on me and I'm going off.
Whatever.
Fuck it.
All of it.
Fuck.